His plastic crew members
by yesimadramaqueen
Summary: They understand, but don't comprehend. Plastic toys don't have hearts. Maliver
1. Captain kissed me today

-He smiled so handsomely at her. Like a blanket. Warm, soft, and she was wrapped up in it.

Then he put an arm across her shoulders, pride and relief surging through him.

Next he told her what a great job she did losing the angry contacts tailing them.

Her heart raced in anticipation. It seemed like the 'verse was in slow motion. That was fine with her. Just as long as the moment never ended.

His lips landed on the top of her head and then he flashed another smile on his way out.-

"But you know that already," River sighed. She tucked her legs beside her on the pilot's chair, directing her attention to the plastic toys the funny guy in the tacky shirts left behind.

"You saw it."

She suddenly became pensive, the contented grin slipping away from her face.

"Stegosaurs didn't. You missed it. You're the one that fell off the consol, but T-Rex told you about it."

She spun around allowing the grin to tug at the sides of her mouth once again. She knew that she was alone. No one near. Only the dinosaurs—and Wash's spirit—could hear her.

"Captain kissed me," she sang melodically. She stopped and glared at the triceratops.

"I know that it was only on the top of the head, but it was still a kiss."

It stared back at her mockingly.

"I don't care. He still kissed me. He was proud of his little albatross. _His_."

She shot it another dirty look.

"You're one to talk. You wouldn't understand. Plastic toys don't have hearts. Wash understands."

She set her chin on her knee and gazed at the stars.

"He understands plenty. Knows the first rule of flying. Me too. You understand," she told them all, matter-of-factly. "But you don't comprehend. You couldn't. Never will. Never can. Love keeps her flying. Keeps her actual and whole. Makes her a person."

She eyed them all once again, completely and utterly serious. This was no game. This was a conversation.

"Triceratops, the skeptic, mustn't watch him as closely as the others. His eyes say everything you need to know. He thinks I'm a person. Only one. Simon thinks I'm a ghost. A fragment of the little sister he knew. He'll never believe I'm okay because I'm not her. Captain didn't know her. He just knows me. He's the only one. _Only one_. Doesn't judge. Doesn't stick me with needles. Just cares in his own way. I care in my own way too. He doesn't see it. Not yet, but he will in time. I'll show him."

She fiddled with a few things to keep the ship on its course and then returned to her toy friends. Sometimes piloting got boring and lonely, so she got in the habit of talking to them or Wash, whoever wanted to listen.

"You'll all see…" she sighed.

-He'd walk in with a mischievous grin and shut the doors.

She'd ask him what he was doing and wouldn't have to be a reader to figure it out.

He'd walk over to her slowly, so slow it'd be agonizing.

Then he'd put a hand on her face, eyes locked, as he'd lean down.

His lips would lightly brush hers then-

"Who are you talkin' to?" Mal asked as he walked onto the bridge tiredly. He had just spent four hours helping Jayne and Kaylee replace a thruster on the mule.

She froze, quickly skimming his mind. He was too distracted to hear what she was saying. She breathed a sigh of relief.

"No one," she replied softly.

He looked at her carefully. "You okay? You seem a mite…uncomfortable."

"I'm fine."

He didn't believe her, but he didn't push it. "I was just wonderin' if we had a wave or somethin' since I heard you talkin'…or at least I thought so."

"No."

"Well then…the course?"

"Set and adjusted. We'll be on Salisbury tomorrow."

"Good. Don't stay up here too late."

"I won't."

He nodded to her and walked away. She smiled, all sorts of tingly inside.

"Captain kissed me today."


	2. Yer crazy

"Yer crazy," Jayne gaped.

"Am not! Wrench," Kaylee replied. He grunted and handed it to the hand she stuck out from under the consol.

"No way."

He heard some crackling and saw a few sparks.

"GOT IT!" she beamed as she slid out from under it. "And yes way."

He folded his arms. "There ain't no way Mal and the crazy one have a thing."

"I didn't say _have_. I said _want one_. There's a difference."

She leaned against the pilot's side with a determined look in her eyes. She was going to convince him whether he liked it or not.

"Na, Mal wouldn't. What about 'Nara? Or the forty years gap betwixt 'em?"

"Betwixt? Where'd you learn that word?"

"Your doc boyfriend was tossin' it around the other day. That ain't the point though."

She smirked and mindlessly picked up one of the dinosaurs by the tail. "Well, I'm tellin' you that there's somethin' there."

"Nope. Why do you even think so? He don't even like the kid that much."

"He do too! He risked everything for her!"

"'Cause he's human. Not 'cause he wants crazy in his bed!"

"I never said bed," she emphasized with a gesture towards him with the dinosaur.

"Well I say there ain't no way."

"Just look at him next time they's in the same room. And she gets all quiet and cute-like. She's sweet on him fer sure."

"Maybehaps she's got a thing for him, but he don't return it. _'Nara_, remember?"

"She's long gone, Jayne. She ain't comin' back and he knows it. They said goodbye."

"Goodbye to her maybe, but sayin' '_hello_' to crazy…"

She set the dinosaur down. "I think that by the end of the month, they'll be together."

"Hmm…" he stopped and grinned mischievously. "Care ta make it intertestin'? I'm thinkin' one month septic duty…"

"You're on."


	3. She could do a lot worse

Mei mei are-" Simon stopped in the doorway of the bridge. "Oh, sorry, I just assumed."

Zoe smiled at him warmly, but reservedly. "That's alright. I told her to take the night off."

He nodded. She was still mourning the loss of her husband, he knew, and this bridge was as close to a memorial as there could be.

"Do you…want some company?" he offered timidly. "Kaylee's working and since I can't find River…"

"Don't that worry you some?" she asked curiously.

"No. I've learned that when she hides she _doesn't_ want to be found."

"I suppose some company won't hurt."

Simon sat down in the copilot's chair and they sat in silence for a moment or two.

"She's good," Zoe began. "Real good. A natural born pilot."

"I never figured her for a pilot. A physicist maybe, chemist, doctor, dancer…"

"Is there anything that kid can't do?"

He chuckled. "If there is anything, I don't know about it."

She picked up one of Wash's toys with a painful smirk. "Cap'in don't seem to think so, neither."

"What do you mean?"

"He's fond of her. Proud too."

"What do you mean by 'fond'?"

She set the dinosaur down with an amused look on her face. "Likes her quite a bit. Seems he's gotten real close to her."

"Close?"

"They've been flyin' together ever since…" she stopped that train of thought. "Anyhow, he's come to like her _a lot_."

Simon tugged at his collar nervously. "Like her a lot? How do you mean?"

"I know him more than he knows his-own-self. It's just a matter of time before he knows it to."

"You mean he…for River? But she's so much younger and unstable and-"

"He ain't the type to go after someone that young and in her…condition. Right now, he's only sweet on who she is as person. It's nothin' more than that. …yet."

"But he is sweet on her?"

"Don't worry yourself on it too much."

He nodded and moved towards the door.

"Doc," she called. He turned towards her. "She could do a lot worse."

He managed a faint smile. "I suppose so."


	4. I told you so

Mal walked onto the bridge expectantly. "Albatross?"

The bridge was empty and the triceratops was left on the floor on its side. He smirked and picked it up.

"You look how I feel," he told it with a snicker as he set it among the others. He sat down in the pilot's chair sighing heavily.

"Do you all know where my wayward pilot has danced off to this time?"

They stared at him and surprisingly he shifted under their painted gazes.

"Why are you lookin' at me like that? Like I'm in a test-tube or somethin'?"

He didn't know why he was talking to them. It had been a long day and he had been expecting to find River there all cozy in her seat. Now she wasn't there and he felt a little lost.

Day and night she was in that chair. When she wasn't it…it didn't seem right is all.

"I think I've lost it. Talkin' to toys and wishin' she was here when she ain't. Am I crazy? Be honest. I can take it."

They continued staring at him. That was an answer to him.

"Well, in any case, I'm losin' it. Can you believe that I feel lost without her? How's that work? She's at least half my age. Don't feel like it. I ain't sure how, but it don't."

He moved one of the toys back into its rightful place when she spoke.

"You're in my seat, Captain."

He jumped out of the chair like a scared cat. "River. Hi."

"Hello."

"How long have you been…?"

She shrugged like she didn't know or hear anything. He relaxed some.

"What brings you to the bridge?" she asked.

"Just stoppin' in. Watchin' the…stars…where were you?"

"Hiding from Simon. More needles."

His face fell. "Sorry to hear that, darlin'. I have…you know…stuff to do…somewhere else."

She smiled at him and kissed him on the cheek. "Bye Captain."

He rubbed where her lips had just been. "What was that for?"

"Guiding star so you won't feel lost."

He turned red. Of course the little witch would know what he was saying to his plastic crew members. He pointed towards the door. "Stuff…to do…somewhere…else."

She nodded and he got the hell out of there. She turned to the triceratops with a victorious smile.

"I told you so."


	5. He's a stand up guy

"Kaylee?" Simon called. He could only see her boots sticking out from under the consol.

"Simon? That you?" she replied, albeit muffled.

"What are you doing up here? River told me where to find you…"

"The feed to the nav. is all sorts of fuzzin' and fizzin' so I gotta connect the direct wire to the converter and replace the runoff wire and the storage unit."

He didn't understand half of what she said, so he just went with the safe answer. "Oh."

"River was just up here. Didn't know she left. She was playin' with the dinosaurs."

He chuckled. She had always been interested in the prehistoric creatures. He picked them up off of the floor and cleared the chair off of the playthings so he could sit.

She stuck her head out from under the consol. She was covered in grease, but had a wide smile on her face. "Hi."

"Hi."

She went back to work. He fidgeted with the long necked one—he was never an expert on dinosaurs—while trying to find a way to broach the subject.

"I talked to Zoe the other night."

"What she have to say?"

"She thinks that Mal has…feelings…for River."

"I KNEW IT!"

He winced at how unbelievably high her voice went. "You _knew_?"

"I thought it! She likes him too! Awwww! SHINY SHINY SHINY!!!"

"You approve?" he gaped.

"He's a stand up guy, Simon. I had a thing for him too! He'll treat her right."

"He's old enough to be her father. Maybe even mine."

"Ah, numbers don't matter none out here. 'Less you're eighty and she's twenty. That's a mite creepy. But just a few years-"

"_A few_?"

"Don't think on it too much, sweetie. If it's meant to be, it'll be. While you're here, can you keep your eye on that screen for me?"

He sighed. "She's my little sister. I can't act like-"

"Is it clearin' up?"

"No. I can't pretend like nothing is happening, especially if he might-"

"How's about now?"

"No. Kaylee-"

"Now?"

He gave up. Of course Kaylee would be for it. Wait…

"You had a thing for Mal?"

"How is it now?"

"_You had a thing for Mal?_"

"Wow, look at the time…" she slid out from under the consol and hurried off the bridge without another word.


	6. Real wrong

"Sir?" Zoe asked when he pulled her into the bridge. Jayne had been with her, so he joined the powwow.

He ran his hand through his hair nervously. "Somethin's real wrong with me."

"That's a given," Jayne laughed.

Mal shot him an angry glance. "Contribute or leave."

"Don't get snippy. It was a funny joke!" he defended.

"What's wrong?" Zoe asked ignoring their schoolboy banter.

"Hey, where's crazy at? Ain't she always up here?" Jayne realized suddenly.

"Why'd you assume I'd know?" he asked jumpily. "It ain't like we're joined at the hip or nothin'!"

Zoe smirked. He had realized it too. "Just figure it out, Sir?"

"Figure what out?"

She motioned to the empty pilot's chair that had become River's. Mal's eyes grew wide.

"How'd you…?"

"I know you. Is this it or is there more?"

Jayne looked between the Browncoats, completely and utterly lost.

"She knows. Heard me talkin' to these guys," he explained as he pointed to the dinosaurs.

"Talkin' to them?" she snorted.

What was it with grown men and dinosaur toys anyhow?

"Yeah. She heard and of course she's figured it out…I think…"

"What'd she hear?"

"Enough. What do I do? She kissed me on the gorram cheek, Zo!"

"Who?" Jayne asked.

"River," Zoe and Mal said in unison.

"Just see what happens. You never know," she offered.

"But she's so much younger! Somethin' has to be wrong with me. Real wrong…"

"Age is just a number. Girl's lived through 'nough to be older than all of us."

Jayne finally put the pieces together. "Whoa wait. You got a thing for crazy?"

"Don't call her that," he gritted. "She ain't crazy. Not anymore."

He cursed. That was an answer enough. "I'm gonna be doin' ruttin' septic duty! Gorramit!"

Mal and Zoe watched him storm out. It was their turn to be confused.


	7. Almost

River sat in the pilot's chair with the dinosaurs all lined up neatly on the consol according to when it lived, the species, and the size all exactly three millimeters from the edge of the consol—her side not the side towards the window—all facing front three _centi_meters apart.

Flying could be boring.

She started spinning around in the chair as quickly as possible, four revolutions clockwise and then another four counterclockwise.

Really, really boring.

She giggled. "I wish I would have been there. Simon should have known. Captain is _very_ likeable."

The toys told her everything she needed to know. They didn't keep secrets from her. Well, triceratops didn't tell her anything, but it was just sulking because it was wrong.

"Captain thinks something isn't quite right up here," she nodded with a gesture towards her head. "Nothing is wrong. First mate was right. Just a number. See what happens. Hmm…" she switched directions. "Can't be too forward. Might scare him. Can't back off either. Conundrum."

She stopped and tried to focus her eyes on the stegosaurs. "He doesn't think I'm crazy?"

It looked back at her. She smiled. "He doesn't think I'm crazy. But Jayne," she made a face and stuck her tongue out. "Mean stupid man with a girl's name."

She resumed spinning, mentally clocking her velocity.

"You're gonna get dizzy," Mal commented when he walked in. She stopped and looked at him with a crooked grin.

"Nothing else to do."

He returned a nervous smile. "So I was comin' by to check on when we're gonna be settin' down."

"Twenty-seven hours, nineteen minutes, fifty-one seconds, and two milliseconds. Approximately."

He should know not to be surprised by her genius-ness, but it still freaked his freak sometimes. "Okay. Thanks."

He stood there awkwardly without moving or even blinking. She just smiled at him.

"Just numbers."

"Wha…what?" he asked worriedly. Surely she didn't know about his conversation with Zoe…did she?

"The time it takes to get us there," she explained.

"Oh."

She loved making him nervous. He motioned to the door. "Stuff to do."

"Somewhere else," she finished. "Bye Captain."

"Bye darlin'."

"Just see what happens. You never know."

He stopped in the doorway. "What was that?" he croaked.

"With the contact. You never know what might happen."

"Right. Yeah. With _the contact_…"

She smiled. She had him right where she wanted him…almost…


	8. Since you were what

Simon stormed onto the bridge hoping to find either River or Kaylee. The entire situation was bothering him. _Kaylee_ and _Mal_? And now _Mal_ and _**River**_?

"River? Kaylee?" he asked.

"Not here," Jayne gruffly replied from the nose of the ship. "Went planet-side for girl time with Zo. I'm left stockin' our cargo."

"Great."

"Is that sarcasm I'm hearin' from mister fancy doctor vest?" Jayne snickered.

"Fancy doctor vest?"

"Tightpants is taken," he shrugged.

"Ha-ha. I'm just a little angry with Kaylee right now."

"Me too! I'm gonna be stuck with gorram septic duty 'cause of our bet. Actually, it's 'cause of Mal makin' googly eyes at your sis. Hell, I'm pissed at all thrice of 'em!"

"Thrice?"

"I heard ya say it once."

"Wait, what do Mal and River have to do with this? What have you heard?"

"You don't know?"

"Know what?"

"Mal's got a thing for her."

"For sure?"

"Yup. Said so. It's kinda freakin' him out. Don't blame him. She's a little young crazy…" he stopped himself before he got in too deep with the doc.

"He really said that he has a thing for River?"

"Not in so many words, but yeah."

"First her and now my sister?" Simon growled.

"I don't get it. How's this get back to Kaylee?"

"She won't answer me! She said that she had feelings for Mal and then won't talk about it!"

He laughed. "I remember that. Don't worry that smart head of yours. It was just a crush and didn't go no place. I wouldn't let it since we were…"

"Since you were what?" Simon asked.

"Um…never mind."

"Jayne-"

"Would ya look at the time? I best be gettin' to work…somewhere else…" he took off for the door.

"Has Kaylee had feelings for everyone on this ship?" he paused and looked at the dinosaur toys. "Oh Lord, not him too…"


	9. I KNEW IT

"Simon is lookin' everywhere for you," Zoe told Kaylee's boots.

"I ain't here."

"Somethin' about Mal and Jayne."

"How'd he find out about Jayne?"

"Don't know," Zoe shrugged as she sat down on the pilot's seat. "I think Jayne told him."

Kaylee's curse word was blocked out by the sudden popping and accompanying sparks from the wires. "Him and his big mouth. We weren't even together that long!"

"Longer than when you went out with Wash."

"Hey, it was one date and even then it was just to a ship convention so I could get a compressor!"

"He spoke highly of it," Zoe laughed.

"He did?"

"No. I was just tryin' to be nice."

"I heard from Simon that you think Mal's got a thing for River."

"Don't think, know."

"I KNEW IT!"

She winced at how high Kaylee's voice could go. "He told me so. He's kinda scared, but somethin' tells me River will make the first move."

"This is so shiny! They'd be sweet together."

"They would."

She slid out from under the wires with a grin. "I'm glad River can have somebody. She deserves some normalcy and all."

"That she does."

"You think that they'll make it if they do get together? And they will. I got a bet to win."

"Cap'in has a heart. It's guarded up, but that don't matter if you're a reader. Besides, she's already kissed him."

"No! Really?"

"On the cheek, but yeah."

Simon bounded onto the bridge. "There you are!"

"Simon, please calm down," Kaylee tried. He ignored her.

"I want to talk about your history with Mal and Jayne!"

"And Wash," Zoe added. Kaylee glared at her. She merely smiled and left the two kids alone.

"I KNEW IT!" was all she heard Simon shout before she got out of earshot.


	10. Close but not close enough

Mal was sitting by himself on the bridge. Serenity had just gone into her night cycle. Honestly, he was glad when he found the pilot's seat empty. He needed to think on things.

_-WhooshClunkClick-_

He knew that sound anywhere. It was the sound of the bridge doors shutting and locking. He didn't have time to turn around to see who it was before they appeared in his sight.

"Captain," River said politely.

"River…wha…wha…" he looked towards the locked door and then back at her. "Whatcha doin'?"

"What do you mean?"

"The door…" he fumbled. Oh Buddha in Heaven, he was locked in a tiny room with _her_.

"Simon and Kaylee," she explained. "Their shouting was disturbing. Kaylee's trying to run, so I locked it in case she wanted to hide here again."

"Oh…"

There was an awkward silence. That was until she leaned across him.

"WHAT IN THE SPHINCTER HELL ARE YOU DOIN'?!?" he shouted.

She pulled away with a dinosaur toy in her hand. "You're the one sitting in my seat."

"If you haven't noticed, the copilot's seat is missin' in action."

"Kaylee had to move it. That consol is broken, _really_ broken. She needed room to work."

"Well I'll get up and you can…" she stepped closer to him, unbelievably close. "…what are you…" even closer. "River…?"

She pounced like a lion going after a gazelle and neatly landed across his lap. He stopped breathing.

"No sense in leaving, Captain. It's a warzone out there. Simon's tried to hit Jayne already. No telling what he'll do to you."

She was too gorram close. He liked her for who she was, but he'd have to be dead to not notice her looks or the fact that he was completely comfortable with her right where she was.

It scared the go se out of him.

She knew it, he knew it, the dinosaurs knew it.

"I'll take my chances out there," he responded dryly. It was more of a silent plea to _get off of him_.

"Dangerous. Love is more dangerous than alcohol, opiates, firearms, and juggling chainsaws combined. Makes people do crazy things. Drives people crazy."

Their eyes locked for a brief moment. He looked away quickly. "I should be goin'."

She sighed and got up. He practically ran to the door.

"Goodnight Captain."

"G'night."

He left her alone with her plastic pals. She looked at the stegosaurs in her hand. "Close, but not enough."


	11. He felt the same way

"Don't," was all Kaylee squeaked. River rolled her eyes.

"It's Zoe."

"Oh okay. Let her in."

Kaylee had taken up refuge under the consol. It had never been so gorram broke in all of the years she had been there, but she welcomed it. That meant no Simon.

Well, no _fighting_ with Simon.

River let Zoe in and quickly shut the door behind her. Zoe smirked.

"I take it you're still hidin' from the doc?"

"Not hidin' as much as…avoidin'," Kaylee corrected.

Zoe sat against the top of the consol since the other chair was missing.

"Thought I'd drop in to ask you a question," she said to River.

River's eyes widened. "Me?"

"Yeah. What exactly did you do to the cap'in?"

"What?"

Kaylee slid out from under the consol unbelievably quickly. "What happened? You didn't say nothin' to me!"

"I was sittin' at the table mindin' my own damn business, blockin' out the hollerin' downstairs, when Mal comes flyin' down the corridor with this look on his face all blushin' and flustered. Somethin' 'bout you is all I got 'fore he ran off," Zoe explained.

"What did you do?" Kaylee grinned.

"Nothing…"

"You did somethin'. He don't get that bothered by 'nothin'," Zoe laughed.

"I locked us in. In case Kaylee tried to hide."

"Avoid," Kaylee snapped. "I don't hide."

"You had to of done more than that," Zoe continued.

"There wasn't another chair, so I…"

"You sat in his lap?!?" Kaylee shrieked. "Girl, you're my kind of woman! Forward, I like it!"

"Do you feel the same way 'bout him that he feels 'bout you?"

"He's sweet on me?" River gaped. Sure the dinosaurs told her some things, but they failed to mention that.

"He is. You sweet on him back?"

Kaylee bit her knuckle excitedly. She had to feel the same. She had to…

"Yes."

Zoe and River both started at Kaylee's scream. "SHINY! AWWW!"

"He's scared. Don't make it worse. Let him come around. He will. Then tell him," Zoe told her.

"You're for this?" River asked.

"You can't pick who you fall for. You can just do the best you can," she sighed as she tenderly ran her hand down the spikes on the stegosaurs with a pained memory of Wash. "Go for it and don't look back. But you hurt him, I hurt you."

With that, Zoe exited and River was left with Kaylee.

"You gotta get with him by the end of the month or I'm doin' septic duty. If you don't, I'm makin' you help."

She slid back under the consol. River smiled. He felt the same way.


	12. You like her, she likes you

Mal and Jayne were in the cargo bay when a disgruntled Simon stormed in. He had a red mark on his forehead and the triceratops in his hand.

"Doc?" Mal asked curiously.

"River threw this at me when I went onto the bridge. She made me leave."

Jayne and Mal chuckled.

"What's so funny?" Simon grumbled.

"Your sis threw you off the bridge 'n threw a dinosaur toy at your head. What ain't funny?" Jayne laughed.

"That isn't funny!" he spat.

"Calm down. It's nothin' to fuss about," Mal replied.

"'Sides, what are ya gonna do 'bout it? _Try_ to hit me again?"

Simon considered it, but last time he was the one that ended up bleeding on the floor.

"You're really blowin' this Kaylee thing outta proportion," Jayne added.

"How'd you learn that word?" Mal asked.

"Why does everyone assume I don't know nothin'?"

"You just used two negatives in the same sentence," Simon commented.

"I didn't say nothin' 'bout anythin' negative!" Jayne argued.

"I agree with him. She likes you a lot and she ain't with anyone else now, so run along and make up."

Simon scowled. "That's what I was going up there to do."

"Then why'd you get tossed out?" Jayne could barely ask with a straight face.

"Because I walked in on a private conversation," he threw a look in Mal's direction.

Mal noticed the glare. "What I do?"

"You were the topic of the private conversation."

His throat closed. "What was it about?"

"You and River."

"Me and River what?"

"Aw hell Mal! And they think I'm the slow one!" Jayne exploded. "You like her. She likes you."

He opened his mouth to dispute it, but Simon cut across him. "I know that you do, so don't deny it. I'm not going to kill you.

…

Yet."

"You aren't?"

"That depends. Do you like her for who she is or do you just want to take her to bed?"

He stuttered for about a minute before he managed to collect his thoughts. "I may be a petty thief, but I ain't one to do that."

"Then I won't kill you. Not unless you hurt her. Or I catch you with her-"

"Let's just put that thought to an end, doc…" Mal snapped.

"I don't like this, but she likes you. Who knows why. Just don't mess it up."

With that, Simon exited and left Mal with Jayne.

"Can you not get with crazy until after this month? 'Cause then I have to do septic duty 'n I'm gonna make you help."

Mal glared at him.

"So it's a no?" Jayne asked. Mal walked away.

"Mal? Mal? That's a no, right? Mal? Come back!"


	13. Making sense

"Who is it now?" Kaylee whined. "I wanna work in peace!"

River looked towards the door. Her heart raced. "Captain's here."

Kaylee got up and answered the door.

"Cap'in! Hi!" she was overly bright. Well, brighter than usual.

"Hey there little Kaylee, I-"

"I'm on my way out. Simon said somethin' 'bout apologizin'…"

"Yeah he-"

"Bye!"

She brushed past him with a not-so-subtle shove into the room.

He stood in the middle of the bridge facing River. She looked at him with a nervous smile.

"Hello Captain."

"Hi."

Silence.

"I um…was talkin' to your brother a minute ago…"

"…about…?" she asked timidly.

"Oh um…stuff."

More silence.

"Uh…you popped up. In the conversation, I mean…not in a literal…well, you couldn't of…you were…yeah…"

She nodded as a signal to continue.

"…so…he mentioned…you threw a toy at him…"

"He interrupted."

"I ain't judgin'…I thought it was funny."

"It was."

A beat.

"I uh…heard somethin'…but I don't know if it's true…"

"What was it?"

"Are you…I mean, do you…do you…" he fumbled and tried to get the point across with a hand motion. This was one of those moments where he was glad that she was a mind reader.

"Do I like you?"

"Yeah."

"Like…?"

"…that…"

"Do you like me like that?"

Gorram girl turning the gorram tables.

"I…uh…we…this…it…" he cleared his throat. "Maybe."

"Maybe?" she frowned. "_Maybe_?"

"Maybehaps I don't have an answer. Maybehaps I can't answer."

"You aren't making sense."

"I know I'm not makin' sense! You can't just turn the question 'round on me like that without warnin'!"

"Now you're warned. Do you like me like that?"

"But I asked first."

"I'm asking now."

"Do you like me?"

"Captain," she sighed. "Can't play in circles all day. Bound to get dizzy."

"Then you answer first."

"You're a child."

"I am not!"

"Proving my point."

"Answer first."

"Yes."

"Yes what? Yes you'll answer first, or yes you like me?"

"Yes."

"_Yes what_?"

"I like you."

"Like me like that?"

"Yes. Your turn. Do you like me?"

"Yes."

"Like that?"

"Yes."

"You're not just saying that?"

"No."

"No you aren't just saying that or no you are saying that?"

"You ain't makin' sense either."

"I'm crazy. I'm allowed to make no sense from time to time."

"So you…like me?"

"How many times do I have to say yes?"

"You shouldn't."

"But I do."

"I shouldn't."

"But you do too."

…

"Now what?"

"Isn't this where one of us asks the other one out?"

"…that would make sense."

"It would."

…

"River, do you wanna-"

"Yes."

"Is this when I'm supposed to-"

"Yes."

"Okay."

He crossed to the front of the pilot's seat and offered her a hand up. She got up and he bent down to kiss her. She kissed back a little harder than he expected and they toppled onto the consol. The dinosaur toys flew off onto the floor, but they were too focused on what they were doing and who they were doing it with to notice.

The door was still open and Kaylee had been spying the entire time. She cheered, somewhat quietly, and then turned towards Jayne who had just arrived in the corridor.

"I win," she smiled.

He peered into the room where they were still engaged in a battle of the tongues across the consol. "Gorramit," he grumbled. "I hate my life."


End file.
